“Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn’t you- all of the expectations, all of the beliefs – and becoming who you are.” -Rachel Naomi Remen
Did you know that much of our healing from any hurtful event depends on our attitude? How we feel about ourselves and our choices impacts our healing ability.
If we didn’t form a strong sense of self as children, we can easily grow up to be followers. We may develop a “black-and-white” (all or none) thinking style because we weren’t allowed (or haven’t had the opportunity) to learn and develop critical thinking skills. Sometimes the very idea of making a decision can cause us to feel anxiety or fear. We may give up our personal power and let others make decisions for us in order to relieve that anxiety or fear. Of course, handing over our personal power to someone can temporarily free us from the fear of making a poor (or wrong) choice, but avoiding decision-making altogether can become our default. Ironically, not making a conscious decision is still a form of making a decision, one that’s based on avoidance or not taking action. The consequences of the choice will still naturally occur, whether we choose to take responsibility for them or not. When we’ve handed over our personal power to another, for any reason, we become “people-pleasers,” and this is the beginning of codependency.