Overcoming the Fear of Losing Love, Approval, and Affection

In our pursuit of love, validation, and affection, the fear of losing someone’s approval can trap us in a never-ending cycle of people-pleasing, emotional anguish, resentment, and unhappiness. But by establishing boundaries, we can start to liberate ourselves from this destructive pattern. When we set and enforce boundaries, we establish a solid foundation of mutual respect, self-care, and realistic expectations. In this article, we delve into the significance of setting limits and how doing so empowers us to foster more satisfying relationships while prioritizing our emotional and mental well-being.

Here’s the thing: WE get to determine what’s acceptable to us and what’s not. By establishing clear limits, we empower ourselves to prioritize our needs and desires, even if it means risking negative reactions from others.

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How to Set Healthy Boundaries with a Narcissist
When we don’t have boundaries, we often deny our own feelings or do things we know we shouldn’t, or don’t want to do, just to gain someone’s approval or acceptance. Afterward, we’ll often feel taken advantage of, used, resentful, and basically not very good about ourselves. Then we might further beat ourselves up for not having a backbone. Or for not being “stronger.” But we need some boundaries in place to protect ourselves from living in a cycle of regret or feeling resentful or used. Setting boundaries can do this, but it can definitely feel scary to consider because sometimes the stakes are high. That fear, along with those high stakes, might keep us stuck in the cycle. Setting boundaries helps bring an end to our people-pleasing behavior. Maybe for the first time, we’re willing to accept the many ways, good and not so good, that people might respond to this. I believe that setting boundaries is the first step in healing codependency. Setting boundaries is a courageous act of faith in yourself. It takes courage to say “No, I won’t ______________ anymore.”
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