Welcome to The Toolbox! This is a safe space.
The TOOLBOX is a place to learn healthy coping skills and strategies, challenge your thinking and take back your personal power. It’s a place to begin healing and moving on from the effects of toxic people, unhealthy relationships, narcissists, and narcissistic mothers (“Lemon Moms.”)
What’s a Lemon Mom? A Lemon Mom has narcissistic traits; she may be on the narcissism spectrum or have full-blown, diagnosable Narcissistic Personality Disorder. She lacks the capacity to bond with, unconditionally love, nurture or accept her children, or provide them with a sense of safety or security. They grow up feeling “not good enough,” confused, unloved, misunderstood, unimportant, or invisible, and they often believe that they don’t really matter. They treat themselves accordingly as adults; disliking, ignoring, or neglecting themselves, taking unnecessary risks, being attracted to people who aren’t good for them, minimizing themselves so others can feel good, staying in hurtful relationships, putting themselves last on their priority list, or not at all.
On this site, diagnoses are irrelevant! If someone’s personality traits cause you pain or negatively impact your life, that’s what’s important to know and change. This site is about recognizing how someone’s toxicity, mental illness, or distorted thinking are affecting you, and applying what you learn to help improve your life and circumstances.
You don’t need a diagnosis to determine that a relationship is unhealthy or to start making positive changes for yourself.
I wrote the book “Lemon Moms: A Guide to Understand and Survive Maternal Narcissism” (and the rest of the lemon Moms series) as a way to safely walk through the chaos and confusion of narcissistic behavior; defining what it is, what it does, and more importantly, how to move on from its devastating effects. I use a laid-back narrative, personal examples, and action-oriented steps. I teach you how to decode the crazy-making behavior, use healthy coping skills and strategies to begin healing, and move forward to live your best life.
Much of what I write is a combination of my education, (a BA in Psychology, an MSIT, and years of experience in human service fields like domestic violence and abuse) my acquired knowledge, and my personal healing journey from childhood relational trauma. I hope you learn from and enjoy what’s here. I especially hope that you celebrate your progress and keep moving forward in your own healing journey.
Do the work.
Diane Metcalf
Have Relational Trauma?
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