Welcome to The Toolbox! This is a safe space.
The TOOLBOX is a place to nurture and redefine yourself after being involved (or while currently involved ) in a non-nurturing or unsupportive relationship.
This site is about recognizing how someone’s neglect, emotional absence, mental illness, or distorted thinking affects you and applying new insights to improve your life.
This is a safe space to learn skills and strategies to change yourself, and your relationships, challenge your thinking, and take back your personal power. It’s a place to begin healing and moving forward from the effects of emotionally absent people, unsupportive relationships, narcissists, and self-focused mothers aka “Lemon Moms.”
What’s a Lemon Mom? A Lemon Mom may be on the narcissism spectrum or may have full-blown, diagnosable Narcissistic Personality Disorder. She lacks the capacity to bond with her children, and they grow up feeling “not good enough,” confused, unloved, misunderstood, unimportant, or invisible, that they “don’t matter” or have no influence. As adults they continue disliking, ignoring, or neglecting themselves, taking unnecessary risks, and being attracted to people who aren’t good for them. They minimize themselves so that others can feel good, and they stay in hurtful relationships, and put themselves last, if at all.
On this site, diagnoses are irrelevant! If someone’s personality traits negatively impact your life or cause you pain, that’s what’s important to realize and change.
You don’t need a professional diagnosis to determine a relationship is unhealthy, or make positive changes for yourself.
I wrote the book “Lemon Moms: A Guide to Understand and Survive Maternal Narcissism” (and the rest of the Lemon Moms series) to safely walk others through the chaos and confusion of narcissistic behavior; what it is, what it does, and how to recover from its devastating effects. I include personal examples and action-oriented steps that you can start taking today. I teach how to decode crazy-making behavior, and use healthy skills and strategies to begin healing so you can move forward into your best life.
The information provided here is based on my education, professional and personal experiences with domestic violence and abuse, my personal healing journey, and lots of current research.
I hope you enjoy reading and learning what’s here. I especially hope that you celebrate your progress and keep moving forward in your own healing journey.
I urge you to do the work.
Diane Metcalf
In a non-nurturing relationship?
Free Email Survival Course
Weekly lessons, strategies, and homework to start you moving forward from the effects of hurtful or toxic relationships, dysfunctional thinkers, and Lemon Moms.
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